Massaaaa Sir? This is something you will hear very often here in Vietnam. Since there are many spas and massage places and all of them need to earn money, they have someone sitting in front of the business asking 'massaaaa Sir?'
The Vietnamese have their own way of speaking English, as some of the guides I've had so far, said. So they cut the 'ge' sound at the end of the word and stress the 'a' long, which then becomes 'massaaaa'. There's also a singing sound when they say it.
One of the things I was looking forward to, to do in Vietnam, is to have a good foot and full body massage. Let's face it, Asians are masters in this discipline and it is a sheer pleasure to have one here. In the western world, a massage was for a long time something for the injured, for those who suffered from pain, for the old, for the frail, for the weak. It was seen and treated like a cure. A massage had a bad and negative image and was prescribed by a doctor, which meant that the patient didn't have to pay for it, because it was covered by the medical insurance.
Our parents and older people used to have massages when they were in pain, and we never dreamt of having one. Now, since we have reached the age our parents had back then, we do have massages and know how to appreciate a good service. But things are a bit different now.
A massage was done by a physiotherapist and you needed a prescription and an appointment and often you had to go far for it. The atmosphere in those places had something of a hospital, it was off-putting and it was a place you would try to avoid.
As years went by, people discovered things like 'work-life-balance' and Spa wasn't only known to Formula 1 enthusiasts, which made their heartbeat jump out of joy (for the rest of you, it's a place with a racetrack in Belgium), but it became a lifestyle. Having a massage was trendy, stylish and blah blah. Spas and massage places were popping up like mushrooms and the physiotherapist with the negative image and the older clientele became the trendy masseur with tattooed arms and younger customers.
However, such treatments are expensive and not really good compared to what you get in Asia. The best massages I have ever had, were by blind people in Shanghai. When I was living there, I went there 2 - 3 times a week to have a two hour session, one hour foot and one hour full body massage.
I have been told that in Thailand, the best places to go to, are those by former prisoners. You'll see it advertised in the businesses. If I ever go to Thailand, I will try it out and will let you know.
Young readers may not understand my affection for such treatments, I didn't either when I was in my twenties, but believe me, you'll feel different once you hit 40 and you'll appreciate a good kneading.
When I arrived in Hanoi a few weeks ago, I messaged my landlord to ask if he knew a place where I could go. Of course he knew. He booked an appointment for me in one of the massage places directly opposite, but because it is in an alley, it's hard to find. He also negotiated the price, so I saved a bit. There was a lady waiting for me in front of the alley, who guided me to the place through the dark and narrow alley. At the end of it, were some glass doors and a room for foot massage. The one for body massage was upstairs. There were some other rooms, like dressing rooms, loos, etc.
You have to take off your shoes and leave them outside. If you want a foot massage you have to take your trousers off and wear some shorts you are given. If you want a full body massage, you have to undress and leave only your boxers, briefs or knickers on. And this is where the fun begins.
Unlike in China, where things are quite conservative and traditional and you either don't take your clothes off or are asked to wear some sorts of pyjamas, and in addition to that, a thin towel is placed on your clothes or pyjamas, so that the masseur doesn't touch you (that's when you don't go for oil or hot stone massage), here, oil is used and it's a full contact experience.
What do I mean? You strip naked and leave your panties on, lie on the bed and the usually female masseur starts oiling you. Because they are rather short, they jump on the bed and sit on you in order to make their work easier. If you request a strong massage, they might stand up and walk on you.
Having your boxers or knickers on, doesn't prevent them from oiling and massaging your bum. Not sure what they do with the ladies, but if you are a tall and handsome and well built western man, be prepared to have your butt oiled and massaged. If you feel uncomfortable with it, just mention it politely and they will stop. Otherwise, enjoy it while it lasts.
There are differences between Thai and Vietnamese. The latter is a short back massage, and extensive leg and short foot massage and it ends with a long head and facial treatment. Not really my thing, so I always ask for a Thai, which doesn't include head and face.
You won't see any male masseurs in most places, the only place I saw men, was at the blind people's place in Hanoi, nowhere else. Most of the ladies speak good english and are in a chatty mood and will ask you many questions. If you are polite, the treatment might last longer, because they forget the time. It happened to me once, when I was persuaded to try the Vietnamese massage. When it came to the head massage, the lady was fascinated by my longish blond hair and played with it for a while. She said that she liked my hair, that it was soft and angelic and even called her colleagues to feel it. So I ended up having three ladies massaging my head and playing with my hair. Boy, that was relaxing!
My first massage was really great. It was done by a lady with love handles who had some power in her arms and hands and gave me a strong knead, just as I wanted it. I tried some other places, some where good and some not. Some have billboards outside with prices in USD, but once inside, you'll realise, that it is more expensive than the advertised 5 or 9 USD. However, try a hot stone or anything else there is on offer, because it's much cheaper and much better here than back home and some treatments you won't get them in your country.
You can always consult your Lonely Planet, Let's Go or any other guidebook, but it's better to ask your landlord for advice. They will book you an appointment and negotiate the price, which in many cases means at least 10% off the regular price.
There are various ministries around my accommodation just outside the Old Quarter and they have guards in front of the gates, who usher you to walk away if you stop to look or even want to take a photo. That's why I have no photos of the beautiful buildings. The good thing is, that since I was told by the guards I am not allowed to take a photo, we greet each other every time I pass by.
Because the city map doesn't say what ministries they are and the writing is in Vietnamese, I decide to appoint them names like in George Orwell's 1984. So, there are MiniLuv, MiniPax and MiniPlenty. All down the road on my way to the vegan place where I have breakfast every day. The Ministry of Sound is missing...
The Vietnamese have their own way of speaking English, as some of the guides I've had so far, said. So they cut the 'ge' sound at the end of the word and stress the 'a' long, which then becomes 'massaaaa'. There's also a singing sound when they say it.
One of the things I was looking forward to, to do in Vietnam, is to have a good foot and full body massage. Let's face it, Asians are masters in this discipline and it is a sheer pleasure to have one here. In the western world, a massage was for a long time something for the injured, for those who suffered from pain, for the old, for the frail, for the weak. It was seen and treated like a cure. A massage had a bad and negative image and was prescribed by a doctor, which meant that the patient didn't have to pay for it, because it was covered by the medical insurance.
Our parents and older people used to have massages when they were in pain, and we never dreamt of having one. Now, since we have reached the age our parents had back then, we do have massages and know how to appreciate a good service. But things are a bit different now.
A massage was done by a physiotherapist and you needed a prescription and an appointment and often you had to go far for it. The atmosphere in those places had something of a hospital, it was off-putting and it was a place you would try to avoid.
As years went by, people discovered things like 'work-life-balance' and Spa wasn't only known to Formula 1 enthusiasts, which made their heartbeat jump out of joy (for the rest of you, it's a place with a racetrack in Belgium), but it became a lifestyle. Having a massage was trendy, stylish and blah blah. Spas and massage places were popping up like mushrooms and the physiotherapist with the negative image and the older clientele became the trendy masseur with tattooed arms and younger customers.
However, such treatments are expensive and not really good compared to what you get in Asia. The best massages I have ever had, were by blind people in Shanghai. When I was living there, I went there 2 - 3 times a week to have a two hour session, one hour foot and one hour full body massage.
I have been told that in Thailand, the best places to go to, are those by former prisoners. You'll see it advertised in the businesses. If I ever go to Thailand, I will try it out and will let you know.
Young readers may not understand my affection for such treatments, I didn't either when I was in my twenties, but believe me, you'll feel different once you hit 40 and you'll appreciate a good kneading.
When I arrived in Hanoi a few weeks ago, I messaged my landlord to ask if he knew a place where I could go. Of course he knew. He booked an appointment for me in one of the massage places directly opposite, but because it is in an alley, it's hard to find. He also negotiated the price, so I saved a bit. There was a lady waiting for me in front of the alley, who guided me to the place through the dark and narrow alley. At the end of it, were some glass doors and a room for foot massage. The one for body massage was upstairs. There were some other rooms, like dressing rooms, loos, etc.
You have to take off your shoes and leave them outside. If you want a foot massage you have to take your trousers off and wear some shorts you are given. If you want a full body massage, you have to undress and leave only your boxers, briefs or knickers on. And this is where the fun begins.
Unlike in China, where things are quite conservative and traditional and you either don't take your clothes off or are asked to wear some sorts of pyjamas, and in addition to that, a thin towel is placed on your clothes or pyjamas, so that the masseur doesn't touch you (that's when you don't go for oil or hot stone massage), here, oil is used and it's a full contact experience.
What do I mean? You strip naked and leave your panties on, lie on the bed and the usually female masseur starts oiling you. Because they are rather short, they jump on the bed and sit on you in order to make their work easier. If you request a strong massage, they might stand up and walk on you.
Having your boxers or knickers on, doesn't prevent them from oiling and massaging your bum. Not sure what they do with the ladies, but if you are a tall and handsome and well built western man, be prepared to have your butt oiled and massaged. If you feel uncomfortable with it, just mention it politely and they will stop. Otherwise, enjoy it while it lasts.
There are differences between Thai and Vietnamese. The latter is a short back massage, and extensive leg and short foot massage and it ends with a long head and facial treatment. Not really my thing, so I always ask for a Thai, which doesn't include head and face.
You won't see any male masseurs in most places, the only place I saw men, was at the blind people's place in Hanoi, nowhere else. Most of the ladies speak good english and are in a chatty mood and will ask you many questions. If you are polite, the treatment might last longer, because they forget the time. It happened to me once, when I was persuaded to try the Vietnamese massage. When it came to the head massage, the lady was fascinated by my longish blond hair and played with it for a while. She said that she liked my hair, that it was soft and angelic and even called her colleagues to feel it. So I ended up having three ladies massaging my head and playing with my hair. Boy, that was relaxing!
My first massage was really great. It was done by a lady with love handles who had some power in her arms and hands and gave me a strong knead, just as I wanted it. I tried some other places, some where good and some not. Some have billboards outside with prices in USD, but once inside, you'll realise, that it is more expensive than the advertised 5 or 9 USD. However, try a hot stone or anything else there is on offer, because it's much cheaper and much better here than back home and some treatments you won't get them in your country.
You can always consult your Lonely Planet, Let's Go or any other guidebook, but it's better to ask your landlord for advice. They will book you an appointment and negotiate the price, which in many cases means at least 10% off the regular price.
This is one of the numerous spas and massages places I walk by every day on my way to the vegan place for breakfast.
Because the city map doesn't say what ministries they are and the writing is in Vietnamese, I decide to appoint them names like in George Orwell's 1984. So, there are MiniLuv, MiniPax and MiniPlenty. All down the road on my way to the vegan place where I have breakfast every day. The Ministry of Sound is missing...
On the way to the Old Quarter.
This one is no ministry,
but...
Sleeping beauty
In the Old Quarter
This is just around my accommodation outside the Old Quarter. No idea what it is, you can't even go inside.
In the Old Quarter
In the French Quarter
Santa Claus meeting
Night market
Hoan Kiem Lake
Around the lake
Ever wondered where the officials buy their uniforms?
Beer Street early in the evening
Uniforms for the officials
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