China is, like many other Asian countries, a scooter and motorcycle paradise. The best mean of transport to get around is a two-wheeler. Since most of the scooters are produced in China or generally in Asia, they are quite cheap and a lot cheaper than back home. Especially the electric scooters. They are big now in this part of the world. Everybody drives them. And they come in different sizes and colours.
Since Guiyang doesn't have a metro yet, the bus system is all in Chinese, Jinyang, the area I live in is 15 or so miles from the city centre and the cabbies are completely useless because they don't know neither street names nor the biggest pubs and clubs and it's every time a hassle to get just anywhere, me and some colleagues decided to get e-scooters and be independent.
Well, we had to postpone e-scooter shopping various times, because one or more of us couldn't make it, but today is the big day. With Macklemore’s ‘Downtown’ in our ears, we set off to an adventure.
We have the address of one of my student’s uncle and the information that in that street we would find many other scooter shops, but since none of us has ever been to that part of town, we don’t really know where we have to go. One colleague has the brilliant idea to hop on the free bus to town and get off at the final stop and take a cab or one of the busses heading to either the street or direction we want to go.
Since I don’t know where the stop of the free bus is, I arranged to meet with colleague A at the gate of our complex and walk there together. Colleague A however, returned home from work later than expected and didn’t have the time to walk his puppy and decided to take it with him to the centre. I am already at the gate when I see him running towards me with the little dog in his arms. Because we are really late, we decide to run. After not even one minute, colleague A stops running because he’s out of breath. So we walk. Then we run again, and then we walk. When we reach the final crossroad before the bus stop, we see the bus coming. Colleague B is already queued up and waiting for us. We arrive at the stop a few seconds before the bus and colleague A puts the dog down on a strip of grass to let him pee and poo. But the dog is far too nervous to do that next to so many people queuing up to get onto the bus. So colleague B takes the dog and puts it on another strip of grass behind the queue. The people get on quickly as soon as I reach the door, I turn around and call them. The dog hasn’t done his business.
The bus ride begins and Macklemore’s song is accompanying us.
‘I went to the moped store, said, "Fuck it."
Salesman's like "What up, what's your budget?"
And I'm like "Honestly, I don't know nothing about mopeds."
He said "I got the one for you, follow me."
Oh it's too real
Chromed out mirror, I don't need a windshield
Banana seat, a canopy on two wheels
Eight hundred cash, that's a hell of a deal!’
The bus makes a few more stops and more people get on. Then we get stuck in a traffic jam. Pity that we can’t really see outside, because the entire bus is plastered with advertisement for a furniture shop. Approximately half an hour later we arrive at the final stop somewhere in the centre and everybody gets off. Colleague A gets off with his puppy in his hands and puts it on a strip of grass to do his business, but again, the little dog refuses.
Since we don’t really know where we are, we decide to walk down the road to the big crossroad and either get a taxi or a bus from there. Colleague A is afraid that his dog might run away or hit by passersby, he puts in on the leash. The puppy however, is not used to walking on a leash and refuses to walk. So colleague A starts pulling it and the dog slides over the pavement. When we have to cross a side street, the dog refuses again to move, so colleague A raises the leash to the air and the dog just hangs in the air spinning around his own axis. Not only I can’t resist smiling and laughing, but most passersby too. It looks hilarious.
We reach the corner of the crossroad and see a bus stop. Colleague B takes out his mobile phone, fires up Baidu maps, the Chinese version of Google maps, and tries to find out where we are, where we have to go and which busses run that way. Colleague A and I try to flag down a cab. But it’s afternoon rush hour and no taxi is free. A few private drivers stop and ask us where we want to go and name us a price. We wave them off because it’s too much what they are asking for and try to find out which bus we need. While colleague B is busy with his phone and talking to a lady, colleague A is trying to get his dog to do its business. The lady colleague B is talking to, initially says that bus 72 is the wrong, and bus 10 is the right one, but then she changes her mind as says both go that direction. With bus 10 approaching, we look out for colleague A who seemed to have disappeared. So we miss the bus. Not even a minute later, colleague A calls us from 20 metres away. He found a free taxi and the driver knows where we want to go. Hallelujah! The three of us plus dog (no business yet), get in. A short ride later, I see two scooter shops on the right hand side and we ask the driver to stop. He stops, we pay and get out. Colleague A puts his puppy again on a strip of grass and I walk into the shop before us. Unfortunately it has gas powered scooters and motorcycles only. So I walk into the next one. Again no luck. In the meantime the dog did its business, but me and colleague B need to go to the loo.
While I was in the shops, colleague B tried to call a Chinese friend of his and ask him to come assist and translate for us. But unfortunately both of their phones died. Not sure if my colleague’s or his friend’s died first. Colleague B managed to tell his friend the street name and more or less where we are.
We look a bit around us and notice that most shops are already closed. We decide to walk down the road in search of other shops. We pass some that sell helmets, gloves, jackets, etc, but no scooters. We see a service station and while I’m on the way to the shop to ask for the loo, colleague B sees it. We go to the men’s and see two cubicles. The door of the first is closed, the second is open. Colleague B opens the second door wide open and says: ‘Oh shit!’ ‘What is it?’ I ask. ‘It’s filthy’ he says. I then open the first door and see a Chinese in the darkness of the cubicle in the squat position over the hole in the ground with a cigarette in his mouth. Oops, sorry! and close the door again. I decide to go to the women’s loo instead.
Then we continue walking down the road and we pass a few open shops with motorcycle equipment. Most shops are closed to our surprise. Then we see a light up the street and discover some scooters. We walk towards the light and see that only one shop out of the many is open and they are about to close. Nevertheless, we walk in and look around. A lady, who turns out to be the shop owner, approaches us and starts a conversation. Since our Chinese is very limited, we use sign language. We see some scooters we like and ask for prices. Colleague A and his puppy wait outside the shop. Me and colleague B manage to get some info on prices and specifications before colleague A comes in. Then we start to haggle. We try to tell the lady that we want three scooters and ask how much she’d go down in price. She’s tough and refuses to lower the prices. So we say thank you and goodbye and turn around to leave. As soon as we are out of the door, she comes after us and says something in Chinese, which we believe is an offer. We return and continue negotiations. The best offer she can give us is 20 pounds off each. The scooters cost around 300 to 350 pounds each. So from this perspective it’s not bad. But colleague A wants more. The lady refuses. Colleague A says then that he isn’t going to buy anything without a Chinese speaker. Why did we come here in the first place? I wonder. I’m told that colleague B had arranged with his friend to help us, but as he isn’t very organised, we are here without him. Never mind, I think. I ask colleague B if he could call his Chinese girlfriend to help us over the phone. I dial the number and pass on the phone to B. While he is on the phone with his girlfriend, A and I try our best to haggle the price a little more down. At some point I hear colleague B saying to his girlfriend: ‘They seem to be doing fine, I don’t think we need your help’ and hangs up. I turn my head, look at him and ask: ‘Why did you hang up? Isn’t she going to help us? Did you even ask her?’ His reply: ‘You seemed to be doing fine, so I thought we don’t need her help.’
I’m very close to losing my temper, but I ask him to call her again and ask her to help us instead of doing sweet-talking, talking random things with her and wasting my credit. He calls, but she won’t pick it up. After a few tries, she picks it up and instead of asking her to help, he starts a random conversation. I take my phone back rather impolitely and ask her to negotiate and pass the phone over to the lady. Then, very Chinese, the two ladies talk for what feels like an eternity. The result? 20 Pounds each is what she can do. We break up the negotiations and walk away. Down on the street again, we discuss what to do next. Colleague A says, he is not going to buy without a Chinese speaker, B is complaining about the dead phone and the closed shops and I suggest to continue walking. While still standing there, B’s Chinese friend appears out of nowhere. We’re saved!
He tells us that he saw some shops still open the way he came. So we walk towards that direction. At some point we have to cross a very busy crossroad. Colleague A takes his puppy in his arms and we run wildly across the road. On the other side we see some closed shops. Then I discover two open shops on the side we were before. Never mind says the Chinese and asks us to follow. We turn into a little street after two minutes walking. It’s rather busy for a little street. The first few shops on the left hand side sell TVs, radios, satellite dishes and random electrical goods, on the right hand side, the shops are closed and in front of them are various street kitchens. There are no pavements and pedestrians, cars, mopeds, bicycles and dogs share the narrow strip of tarmac.
We finally find an open shop and walk in. The shop is quite lengthy, but doesn’t have many scooters in it. Right across the entrance is another entrance to a back street. My two colleagues see some motorcycles on the back street and walk through the shop and out of the back entrance. I say ‘hello’ to the shop owners and have a quick look at the scooters before I follow my colleagues out. We are now looking at some really nice gas powered small motorcycles. A lot smaller from the one I had at the driving school. Colleague B gets excited and both of my colleagues walk around the shop and ask various questions. I go back to the other shop to try my luck. I approach the till where the lady of the shop is sitting with her baby in her hands. Her husband stands right next to her. I point at one scooter and want to know more, but the lady stands up, hands me her baby to hold, takes her mobile phone and starts taking photos. Then she asks her husband to join. In the middle of the photo session, my colleagues walk in and wonder what I’m doing. We manage to ask a few questions, me still with the baby in my hands and the lady taking photos. She then discovers the puppy and takes a few photos. Since we don’t find what we’re looking for, we decide to leave. We stand for a bit outside the shop trying to decide what to do, as an older mafioso looking man approaches us and asks us to follow him to his shop. We walk a few yards up the street and stop in front of a street kitchen. Go around it, reach a door, the sleazy looking man opens, gets in and switches the lights on. Here we find some scooters we like, but he goes down only ten pounds each. So we leave.
The plan is to go to an Italian restaurant and meet B’s girlfriend. This was somehow the original plan and this is what B was talking on the phone with her earlier on. We flag down a taxi and tell the driver where we want to go. The driver knows more or less the area, but not where we want to go exactly. So our Chinese wants to call B’s girlfriend who apparently know where the restaurant is, but his phone is dead. He asks to use one of ours. A’s phone has 12% of power and mine 23%. So i give him mine. He places that phone call and gets the directions we need and explains the driver where the restaurant is. A few minutes later we arrive at a square and stop in front of a tall building and get out. The Chinese isn’t sure where the restaurant is and believes that it’s in the tall building behind us. He asks a few passersby, but no one has a clue. B wants to call his girlfriend to see where she is. I give him my phone and regret it immediately. Instead of asking her a simple question, he starts a lengthy conversation. I see my battery draining and urge him to get to the point. He tries to tell her where we are, but she doesn’t seem to understand and then she says that she can’t park anywhere, so she drives into the underground car park. B hangs up. After a few minutes she calls us back and tells us where she parked. B goes to find her. Minutes later she calls us back again, and tells us vaguely where she is. I tell her to stay put because B is on the way to her. In the meantime me and A are starving. Across the street is a KFC. I hate it, but since there’s nothing else to eat around us, I make do with it. Me and A decide to cross the street and have a burger. We leave the Chinese behind to wait for B and his girlfriend. We buy some burgers and sit down to eat. A places the puppy on a stool, but the dog doesn’t want to sit on it. So he takes the stool and gives his puppy his chair. The dog seems happy with the chair. When A goes to the bathroom to wash his hands, a girl approaches me and wants to know more about the dog. Just in this moment comes A back and starts a conversation with the girl. A few minutes later, A takes the puppy and we leave. Across the street is the Chinese with B. B didn’t find his girlfriend and wants my mobile phone to ring her. I give it to him. He starts once again a lengthy conversation and tries to get her to find us. I ask him for my phone which he passes on. I ask her where she is and she says in front of the Starbucks. ‘Perfect! Stay there, we’re coming!’ I ask if they know where the Starbucks is and B says that it is far away and we should tell her to come find us. I have the impression that I saw the place right on the other side of the square. I ask B once again and he repeats that it’s far away and she should come find us. I’m very close to erupt like Etna, but stay calm and ask A and B to follow me. The Chinese wants to go to the Italian restaurant and leaves. We cross the street and walk not even two minutes and there it is, the green Starbucks sign. And there she is, B’s girlfriend! I’m very tired and want to go to bed, but B wants to have a coffee and donuts. I stand up to make a few photos of the square and discover a water show and stand there to watch it. A few minutes later A with his puppy and B with his girlfriend join me, but they are not really interested and we leave.
We walk through the square and discover a wall of Munich beer, of which we take a few photos and then we go down the stairs to the car park. There’s a traffic accident in the car park and a massive jam. Since B’s girlfriend is a new driver, it takes a while to get out. The next challenge is to find the right way home. In the meantime mine and A’s phones died too. Only B’s girlfriend has enough juice. She fires up Baidu maps and after getting lost twice, we manage to find the right way home.
Macklemore's Downtown. (opens in a new window)
Water show
Beer wall (a bit blurry though)
Macklemore's Downtown. (opens in a new window)
Water show
If you would like to read more by me, here are my novel and my diary from Ar'ar, in the northern Saudi desert. Both available on Amazon as soft and hard copy.
